- Author: Cari Silverwood & Leia Shaw
- Genre:BDSM & Fetish, Contemporary
- Cover Artist: Fiona Jayde
There are some things in life you have to try before you know how they will affect you. After five years of awful sex, I was ready. Bondage and spanking had always featured in my fantasies, and one day, I convinced my husband to try them. That day was a turning point.
Ice cream comes in many flavors and that's us too -- not vanilla, maybe not Rocky Road either. We can be a combination or make up our own and no one has the right to judge us. But there will always be one question that tears at my soul: Will my husband, Nick, ever be happy with what I crave?
- Note:This book is a re-edited, revised version previously published elsewhere, and contains explicit sexual situations, graphic language, and material that some readers may find objectionable: BDSM theme and elements.
His voice, low and full of authority, slides through me like a cold shiver. My breath hitches as I glide silently over our office carpet.
“On your knees.”
I immediately drop. Acutely conscious of my nudity, I sit with my ass resting on my heels and my hands on the curve of my upper thighs.
“Do you know why you are being punished?”
A lump of anticipation lodges in my throat. I keep my eyes downcast and nod.
“Good. Now, I’m going to tie you to the desk, spank you, and stuff you with the vibrator. And you’re not to come without my permission, do you understand?”
My stomach lurches, and I’m soaked with arousal. I can’t trust my voice, so I nod again.
I clear my throat and croak a shaky, “Y-yes, sir.”
“Stand up and bend over the desk.”
My knees tremble. I can barely hold my weight as I walk to the desk. A thin rope dangles from his hands. I dare to look in his eyes. They remain impassive, foreboding. I’m a prisoner in the shadow of my executioner. Can I do this?
His brows rise a fraction of an inch. “Go on.”
I steel myself and bend over the desk. The glass top is like ice on my naked breasts. My breath quickens as he coolly and effectively ties my ankles to the desk legs, then my wrists behind my back. I twist my hands, checking the tightness. No give, at all. Suddenly I feel vulnerable. Too open, too exposed.
I notice the wooden paddle on the desk only when he reaches for it. I gasp. From fear or anticipation, I’m not sure. He moves away so I can no longer see him.
From behind me, I hear, “Count, Sidney.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, and the paddle whistles through the air--
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I wake with a start, flushed and wet. A dream. I exhale a deep breath, then slam my hand on the Snooze button. Nick stirs beside me, his body heating me through the blankets. My dream comes back full force, an assault on my already overeager libido.
Nick. His eyes stern, his lips turned down in a disapproving frown. The rope, the paddle... Oh. I can’t stop a sharp inhalation.
The idea is laughable. Nick wielding a paddle? He’s more likely to cross-dress and pierce his nipples than mercilessly paddle my ass. Nick is the nicest man I’ve ever met. It’s why I married him.
I sigh in frustration and push my fantasies away. The dog jumps at the door. Nick rolls over. His voice is groggy. “Honey. The dog wants to go out.”
Welcome to real life.
* * * *
Books are my therapy. I’m stuck in suburban Maryland, but I can live through the characters as they explore faraway places. I get swept away along with the heroine by Jimmy Thomas, the supermodel who conveniently never has a shirt. A part of me--in a deep, dark place--comes alive as they engage in sexual play I can’t even dream up.
I’m ashamed of this.
It’s eleven o’clock and the middle of my shift at the bookshop where I work as a cashier. Over the heads of the little family of rabid book lovers, I can see the attached cafe filling. Coffee mugs and books decorate the tables. The steamer hisses, and the aroma of coffee fills the air. Best combination ever--books, coffee, and happy people.
I love my job. I’m surrounded by the very stories I envy. Philosophically, I like to think of myself as an inspiration giver. A young father slides another book across my counter, and I ring up a G.R.R. Martin novel. Chin on the counter, his son eyes his own stack of picture books, then shyly edges one forward. I smile at him. Like Willy Wonka, I give children a world of pure imagination. I’ve always been a romantic.
The family moves on with the boy pointing at a big-toothed dinosaur he’s unfolded from a page. His mother heroically juggles three bags while she oohs and aahs at his discovery. I can’t help grinning.
“Don’t you sell movies here?” A shrill woman’s voice vibrates my eardrums.
I look to my left at the hefty middle-aged woman with enough makeup on to smother a cat. “Um...no, ma’am, we don’t sell movies.”
She looks positively shocked. “Well, why not?”
“Because...it’s a bookstore,” I answer very slowly.
Marco, at the register next to mine, covers a chuckle. I give him a dirty look before returning my attention to Lady Marmalade. “Can I help you find a book?”
“No.” She tries to scowl, and the plaster on her forehead cracks. “I’ll just go somewhere else.”
She stomps away, but I lose control and descend into giggles as soon as I look at Marco.
“Is the giant sign outside that reads ‘bookstore’ not clear enough?” he asks between laughs.
“Maybe she can’t read, and that’s why she’s looking for a movie.”
Marco is my favorite associate to work with. He’s a young, Hispanic man with glasses and a tattoo sleeve up his arm. He’s laid-back and easy to get along with. In my experience, men usually are. Gaggles of women, however, I steer clear of.
“Erotic section needs to be reorganized,” Dale, the general manager, announces. “Volunteers?”
I try not to sound too eager. “I’ll do it.”
I must’ve failed miserably because Dale’s eyebrows shoot up. Heat creeps up my neck, and I’m sure my face is bright red.
“All right,” he says. “You know what to do.”
I nod, and he takes over my register. The erotic section is upstairs in a corner partly sheltered by some strategically angled shelves. Just stepping into the naughty zone gives me a little thrill. I relish this duty because I’m too shy to visit here when I’m not working. The book covers are beyond titillating. I idly browse for new additions as I sort the titles that are out of order. I’m here to do a job, I remind myself, not ogle Jimmy and his riding crop.
I ignore the half-naked men and women glaring at me from the covers. Most I’ve seen before anyway. Some I’ve read. If it doesn’t have a racy title, I’m brave enough to buy it on my Kindle. E-readers are the best invention since sliced bread. I no longer have to hide an erotic novel inside a textbook at the store to get my kicks. I can read it late at night when Nick’s asleep, then dream about Jimmy’s riding crop and his serious lack of sensible clothing.
I roll my eyes and feel a twinge of guilt. I’m a horrible wife. An even worse lover.
The books are easy to reorganize, and I’m saddened that my time in this section is almost up. I didn’t even crack one open. My gaze travels up and down the bookshelf, double-checking my work. One title catches my eye.
Training the Dom.
Hmm. That’s new. I reach for the book. A bare-chested hunk graces the cover, but behind him, a woman is placing a flogger in his hand. I read the description on the back.
Bethany Morris longs for some spice in the bedroom, but her sensible boyfriend, Mike, wants nothing to do with it. That is, until Bethany brings home a beautiful woman dressed in leather, called Mistress Helvetica. She’s here to train Mike to become Bethany’s Dom. Mike has some serious reservations, but once he sees the world of passion that opens--
“Hey, Sid!” Jessie’s voice makes me jump out of my skin.
I momentarily forget the book in my hand. “What the heck, Jess? You scared the crap out of me!”
She chuckles. “Sorry.” She eyes the shelf I’ve just organized. “Came to tell you it’s lunchtime.” Her gaze reaches my book.
I try to look unconcerned, then start to put it back.
“Whatcha got?” She grabs the book from my hand.
“Uh...nothing.” Why am I nervous? Jessie’s five years younger than me, single, and has a very healthy sex life, if her lunchroom stories are true. She’s probably read this and more. Still, I blush a little. “I was just finishing up.”
She turns the cover over in her hands. “Hmm. Didn’t read this one. Looks hot, though.” She gives me a sly smile, and I already know I’m not going to like what she says. “Getting some ideas to spice things up with Mr. J?”
You have no idea. I roll my eyes. “No.” I snatch the book from her hands and return it to the shelf. “And I’m not discussing this with you.”
Jess snickers, and we walk together to the back room to clock out for lunch.
Briefly I wonder how it works out for Bethany and Mike. Maybe I’ll buy it on my Kindle.
Copyright © Cari Silverwood & Leia Shaw